Riding Wilson's Tilt-a-Whirl

I've been reading this book: "Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl" by N.D. Wilson.  It's taking me longer than usual for several reasons:

*it's a free reading book (as in: I only read it during free time…and who's got any of that?)

*it's deep…in a simple, mind-boggling way

*because I keep stopping, I have to keep rereading sections to get back into what is going on

However, it's worth all the shenanigans of finding my page and restarting (my mother claims she taught me to use a bookmark…apparently, however, I never fully learned that concept).  I can't really explain this book, in part because I don't really get it all yet, but mostly because it is just a 'full' book: full of new ideas and concepts and things I've never thought through.

Saturday I took some time to read.  This is a rare pleasure and so I was enjoying it immensely.  I was in my room, curled up on our couch with my book.  The sun was shining through the window, deceiving me into thinking it was warm outside (in reality, it only reached 32 degrees).  While I was working an idea out in my head and trying to comprehend one of Wilson's paragraphs, I was struck by the beauty of my surroundings.  This was in part to what I had been reading - Wilson puts a really neat spin on viewing the world as God's creation.  Looking through his eyes feels at times like viewing the world through a kaleidoscope; other times, it's more like I'm seeing the world for the first time.

Because he puts it so well, I'll let you read his words instead of mine. 

"This world is beautiful by badly broken. St. Paul said that it groans, but I love it even in its groaning. I love this round stage where we act out the tragedies and the comedies of history. I love it with all of its villains and petty liars and self-righteous pompers. I love the ants and the laughter of wide-eyed children encountering their first butterfly. I love it as it is, because it is a story, and it isn't stuck in one place. It is full of conflict and darkness, like every good story. And like every good story, there will be an ending. I love the world as it is, because I love what it will be."

-N.D. Wilson, "Notes for the Tilt-a-Whirl", pg 17

I love this paragraph. I love it because it encircles every part of this life, starting with creation and including the fall.  But the thing I love most is that Wilson does not forget Redemption.  The world is beautiful, indeed. The miracles, mysteries and creativity of God bring laughter and smiles.  But it is oh, so very broken.  Pain, hurt, despair, sin: these things plague this world every day. But wait! There is an ending to this story. There is Redemption. There is renewal. There is hope.

Christ has the victory over sin, over death, over fear!

The old hymn put it well: "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future…and life is worth the living, just because He lives!"

If you ever get a chance to read this book: do.  It's worth contemplating. 

Thursday Thoughts

I'm random. Therefore, my thoughts are random.  What can I say?

Here goes:

*My voice teacher said in my lesson: "It's all about letting go.  You can't control this.  It won't work as well."

**The first thought that popped into my head: "Gee.  That's the story of my life.  Too bad I'm not very good at 'letting go'.

          *Guess the theme of 'letting go' applies to most areas of life…

*Spring is officially here.

           *My little brother is officially 18.

*The Earth is spinning at 1040mph.

**Change is inevitable, 

              time is relentless, 

                      Christ is immovable.

*I love my Psalms and Wisdom Class. Here's why:

*It's a twice-a-week Bible Study of Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon.

*My Professor has an awesome accent (Scottish, perhaps?).

*He says things like:

**"If my kids behave like that when they grow up…well, I wash my hands of them."

and

**"Barbie always has some sort of occupation - 'Veternarian Barbie', 'Doctor Barbie'…they should make a 'Homeschooling Barbie'.  Someone needs to make a Homeschooling Barbie."

*We discuss the Gospel every class, without fail. 

*Song of the Day: Jimmy Needham's "Not Without Love".

*"It's actually a spoken benediction and it relates to 'letting go' and realizing that we cannot earn our salvation or God's pleasure.

**Take 1 minute and 49 seconds and listen to it:

                    * http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD-wnNnW4KE

*I spent the weekend in Rochester staffing a conference with Worldview Academy. Bill Jack and Dell Cook spoke during the conference - such great truth and encouragement.

            *A challenge from Dell that is sticking with me this week:

                        "Begin raising your children now.  Live in the manner that you want your children to copy one day.  You will be the role model for your children."

**How are you living right now?  How am I living right now?  Do I want people copying my lifestyle?  Will I one day want my children to copy my life?

*Scripture for the day: "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

Emily and Tuesdays

You know that book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?  I figure they could have just called it "Alexander and Tuesdays" and it would have meant about the same thing.

This is a classic book. Everyone should read it.  

So as to not exaggerate: no, every Tuesday isn't terrible. In fact, I enjoy the things I do on Tuesdays very much, but since I have scheduled things from 8am-10:15pm, the day just gets long.  This past Tuesday was no exception and on top of that, Tuesday was a hard day for me due to some pretty bad pain flaring up in my left elbow.  I wish I could say I dealt with it with enormous patience and was grateful that this is the first time since about November that it's been this bad, but I didn't, and I wasn't.  It was just plain old hard.

During Spring break, when I was working with my piano teacher from back home, I told her that some of the old pain seemed to be coming back.  She mentioned that familiar saying: "Three steps forward, two steps back".  It's a true statement and I realize that forward progress is being made with my wrists/elbow/piano technique, albeit very slowly.  But sometimes, when I'm in the middle of walking backwards, all I notice is that the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly looks farther away.

Relient K got it right in their song: "Forward Motion is harder than it sounds, every time I gain some ground I gotta turn myself around…"

It is a comfort beyond explanation that God's Sovereign Will will be done in my life. As CS Lewis puts it:

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done', and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way'."

*I pray that I can learn to say "Thy will be done" and not begrudgingly fight God every step of the way. 

*I am thankful He takes my stubborn heart and gently breaks it.

*I rejoice that He never decides I'm too much trouble and moves on. 

*I am grateful that He is faithful, and good, and patient.

**Tuesdays may be hard, but I have never gone through a Tuesday without the strength of Christ bringing me through.

**My elbow may not be fully healed but I will never touch a piano without God giving me the ability to move at all.

**I may never fully comprehend why I go through the things I do, but nothing will happen to me that the Lord has not planned from beginning to end.

"I am confident in this:  that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ." Phil 1:6

A Life Lesson from "The Kid"

Maybe there are magic words.

Or maybe it's a magic age I have to reach.

Or perhaps it's a magical event that has yet to take place.

Until then, I'll be waiting.

Just waiting.

Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for 'real' life to start, that these days are just precursors to the life God wants to me to lead…later. My thoughts and words betray this emotion: "Well, when I get out of college, then I'll do that".  "When I'm married, then life will make sense."   "When I get a job, then I'll start making good habits."

I don't remember when I started 'waiting' for life to start.  It wasn't when I was in elementary school.  I suppose it's possible that as an 8-year-old, I thought life might get better later and that I had problems. (I mean, who doesn't think it's a problem when they have to go make their bed, or when they have to have yogurt for lunch instead of peanut butter and jelly?) But I do know for certain that before I could even drive a car, this pattern started.  When I get my license…when I turn 18…when I get to college…when I get a boyfriend…when I graduate college…when I grow up.

In the wise words of Amy…"We can't keep talking about what we're going to be when we grow up! We ARE up!"  [The Kid]

This is Amy. 

I don't think there is a magical age that you reach and then *ding* you're grown up.  This is life.  Right now. Right here.

It's not coming. It won't get here eventually. I'm living now. This day. This hour.

Am I making the most of it?

Am I making it count?

Am I living fully in the here-and-now?

Living fully isn't 'safe'.  It might mean getting hurt.  It means taking chances and stepping out in faith. Being vulnerable. Learning to love.  Striving to glorify God with how I am living in this moment.

As much as I would like to keep thinking that someday I'll reach a magical age and just 'get it' and life will start, I am reminded today that life continually keeps moving and I, with it.

Little Rusty: "How old are you?"

Russ: "Forty. In a couple days."

Little Rusty: "That is old! I'm turning eight. In a couple days."

…

Rusty: "So, I'm forty, I'm not married, I don't fly jets, and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser."

[The Kid]

Russ and Rusty and their Signature "Hey!"

When my 40 comes, will I look back and wish I had lived life where I was? Will I wish I could redo age eight? 

Even as I look forward to Heaven and long for my completion there, may I be living to the hilt of this day. Loving God with all I am. Loving others with the love of God. And loving life for the gift that it is.

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." -Jim Elliot 

"to count on", verb. 'to rely or depend on'

I am Counting on God.

I am counting on God to bring me through each day

Confidently.

Hopefully.

Joyfully.

I am counting on God to sustain me

Peacefully.

Constantly.

Fully.

I am counting on God to be faithful

When I am not.

When I walk away.

When I doubt.

I am counting on God to provide

With comfort.

With love.

With truth.

I am counting on God

Though life is stressful.

Though life is hard.

Though life is complicated.

He is still good.

         He is still God. 

I am Counting on God. 

Psalm 31:14-15, "But as for me, I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God'. My times are in your hands."

Notes and an Amendment

Amendment: My favorite movement of Brahms Requiem is Movement 6. 

**I won't make you listen to that one, it's pretty long.  But last night was the first time that I got goosebumps while singing the Requiem and it was during that movement.  Singing with a full orchestra and pouring as much emotion into it as you can muster…gah. So good.

*It snowed again today.  
         *Note to Spring: any time now, Spring, you can show up anytime.

*People actually go to the cafeteria for breakfast on Sundays…I learned that this morning. It was the first time I've ever gone to the cafeteria for breakfast on a Sunday.

*Verse of the day: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

**such a freeing truth, that verse is

*"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."

-Quote by Samuel Johnson, one that I have been thinking about today

Speaking German and Everlasting Truth

Today, I am traveling with Grove City College's Touring Choir up to Erie to sing Brahms' Requiem with the Erie Philharmonic. We did a similar thing last year, only singing the Verdi Requiem instead. 

We began working on this work in October.  It's 70 minutes of intense singing…in German.  (For the record, I cannot speak a lick of German.  It doesn't matter how many times Dr. Browne attempts to teach us how to say those words…it's impossible for me. Remind me never to move to Germany. Ever.)

It was not always the easiest or most fun process to learn this Requiem.  In fact, for the past month, when it's been all we worked on, it's been rather tiring.  But this day makes the work and hours upon hours spent in learning it, worth it. The Requiem is a powerful work, both musically and lyrically. It was written in 1865 and is still well-known and loved today.

It amazes me sometimes how 'politically incorrect' these works of music can be and yet, they are still loved and enjoyed by the public.  The Requiem is explicitly Christian, filled entirely with Scripture passages, preaching the Gospel.  Although I do not understand the German text, the English translation allows us as vocalists to understand what we are saying and put the proper emotion into the lyrics.

I have yet to fully decide which movement is my favorite, but here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg7sU5B_ibM&feature=fvwrel

Listen to that movement.  It's the second movement and might be my favorite.

Here's the text:

"For all flesh is as grass,

and all the glory of man

as the flower of grass.

The grass withers,

and the flower thereof falleth away. I Peter 1:24

Be patient therefore, brethren,

unto the coming of the Lord.

Behold, the husbandman waiteth

for the precious fruit of the earth,

and has long patience for it,

until he receive the morning and evening rain.

Be patient therefore. James 5:7

But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. I Peter 1:25

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return,

and come to Zion with songs

and everlasting joy

upon their heads:

they shall obtain joy and gladness,

and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. Isaiah 35:10 "

I'm thanking God for His everlasting Truth, the brilliance of Brahms, and the gift of music.