Praying about Prayer

You know when you're learning something, or studying something and it keeps showing up everywhere?? That's happening to me right now.  Normally, when this happens, after a couple of times, I say, "Okay, Lord. I get it."  I'm not saying that this time.  I'm saying, "More, Lord. Please, show me more." 

I've been studying prayer.  I began studying prayer because I tend to struggle with the concept; I struggle with consistency in prayer and I struggle to communicate with the God of the universe (sounds easy enough, right?).

I'm reading The Hidden Life of Prayer, and yesterday I read this line:

"Satan strikes at the root of faith or the root of diligence."  

                I sat there and stared.  Yes.  Yes, he does. 

When I feel like I'm understanding prayer and getting it, that's when I suddenly begin to be inconsistent in prayer. I begin to skip my prayer times, or make them shorter, and pretty soon, I'm tossing 2 sentence prayers towards the sky and moving on.  

But lately, I feel as if Satan's been tearing at the root of faith.  I have my prayer time and wonder if God's really hearing, really listening, really answering. 

Am I praying for he wrong thing? 

Is the answer always 'no'?

Do I not have enough faith? 

I've been praying for this for 3 years and haven't seen any change.

Some days it's hard to pray.

But Truth has been fighting back recently, working it's ways around Satan's lies and into my ears.  I've had several friends talk to me just to tell me how God has answered their prayers.  I've been reminded of certain prayers I'd forgotten I'd prayed, that God answered clearly the very same day. 

On tour, the devotional packet we were given had an excerpt from "The Screwtape Letters" where the demons discuss how to best use the 'valley's' in Christian's lives to convince them that God isn't listening.  

Not only was it convicting, but it gave me a deeper desire to fight this battle of unbelief with Truth and Scripture, reminding myself of God's promises to never leave, never forsake us and to hear the prayers of the saints.

Today's excerpt for our tour packet was from "The Tyranny of the Urgent" and can you believe it…it was on prayer! 

                     "The worst sin is prayerlessness." 

Why?  Because the root of most sins is self-sufficiency and pride and when you pray, you admit your dependency on the all-knowing, all-powerful God.

Trials make the promise sweet; trials give new life to prayer;

Trials bring me to His feet, lay me low and keep me there." [The Hidden Life of Prayer]

I am watching God answer my prayer to teach me about prayer, even as I struggle through it.  I am learning how great a privilege it is to come before the King of Kings.  I am yearning for a glimpse of God's glory and my heart rejoices as He draws me towards Himself.

Praying still isn't easy. 

I still forget to pray.
I still feel like I'm not really getting it.

But I won't back down, stop studying, or stop praying. 

I am reminded of Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." 

I don't have to be 'perfect' in prayer. But I will be faithful.

Colossians 4:2: "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."