I have an
overwhelming amount of constant work this semester which keeps me going from
the moment I get up until I get to bed. If I'm not doing work...I should
be. The amount of work was unexpected,
to say the least, especially seeing as I only have four classes. I have become slightly spastic about my time
and planning and I mark out my day by the hour, to ensure that I have enough
time to accomplish everything that I need to do.
Recently, I
have become frustrated with this fast-paced life and the endless routine that
seems never ceasing (at least until May!).
I miss my
quiet afternoons from last semester that gave me time to think and to catch up
with life outside the Grove City "bubble". I realized last night that one of the things
I miss the most is conversations. I don't
have? take? as much time to call home, to call friends, to catch up with people
I don't see very often. Dinner and lunch
dates are typically cut short by a sighed "homework
time".
Even after
three and a half years of college (and five years of homeschooling), I feel as
if I am still needing to learn how to prioritize. I know my schoolwork is important and so it
has been hard to find the balance between doing my work well and in a timely
manner, and making sure that I engage in conversations, in giving and taking,
in blessing and receiving, in sharing and laughing and crying with other
people.
Balance. It
is a word that has come up in my life many, many times recently. And it is such
a hard thing. Having been a gymnast, my
mental picture is always of a balance beam - a four inch wide, four feet high
beam. Staying on the beam...not so
easy. Slipping off on either side takes
just the tiniest misstep.
I haven't
found the balance here at school this semester, in balancing "school
life" and "real life". I
don't know what it is.
I have just
one observation that I realized this week:
My church is
doing a "Lord's Watch" this year and many people signed up to prayer
for half an hour at a time, once a week, all year. I was home when the signing up was going on,
so I joined in. To be honest, I think
these past few weeks, as the Lord's Watch began, have been some of my longest
times of prayer, ever. I'm not sure I've
ever even tried to pray for half an hour before. I have found this time of prayer to be the
most refreshing time of the week.
Yes, I have
to schedule it in and sometimes it seems like I have too much to do to
pray. But when I stop and pray, I find
myself refreshed. I believe the cause of
it is this: when I'm praying, I'm not
focusing on myself or my schoolwork. My
focus is on Christ, where it should be.
(Certainly, it's not there the whole half hour...I'm not so great at
that, but I'm working on it!) When I
place myself at the foot of the Cross, when my eyes are on Jesus, life makes so
much more sense. Life is about the One
who created life, life is about giving glory and praise to the only One who
deserves it.
I don't want
to turn this into "just do this, this and this and life will be
great" situation. That's not how it
works. But I think that I am finding
that even when life is crazy, even when it's hard, or busy, that Christ is
still the center.
I'm not
certain if my thought process made much sense.
I am having trouble processing all the thoughts that are currently
buzzing around my brain, so I apologize if this post seems a little
disorganized…
I suppose
then, that my final conclusion is this: The GOSPEL! (sounds just like the last post, eh?) Preach
the Gospel to yourself. Preach Christ.
Preach truth. Preach freedom from
sin. Be reminded of His power, His peace
and His presence. These are what bring
me through each day.
No comments:
Post a Comment