A Grove City Grad!

I am a Grove City College graduate. 
Which is kinda crazy, I'll admit.  It is odd to think that four years have gone by already.  I can't say that they flew - some of those years felt quite long, but the fact that they are ended - well, it seems abrupt.

I don't think that it has truly sank in yet.  The ending of this year was exactly the same as the past three years, except for the fact that this year, I wore the cap and gown instead of my sister or brother.  I am not sure that the knowledge that college is over will truly hit me until I do not return in August, when my little brother leaves home to return to school.

However, I was driving home from Grove City on Saturday, after the graduation ceremony had ended and it was a mixture of emotions, for certain.
I was elated - I had finished college!  I had a diploma in my hand and four years of classes, learning and growth behind me.
I was tired - it had been a long week of packing and "last" meals with friends. It had been a morning of standing and anticipation and sweating in my black gown, waiting to cross the stage.
I was happy - I was with my family - my sister had flown in from Honduras to see me graduate!! - and we were all together for a short while.
I was sad - I said goodbye to my roommate and dear friends that I am not certain when I will see next. I was leaving behind the place that had been "home" to me for four years.
I was uncertain - my next year in life isn't clearly planned out or figured out yet and for someone who is a planner, this can be stressful.

I was staring out the window at one point on the trip home and letting emotions and thoughts just roll through my head.  And I remember thinking at one point, "Oh God, I am so uncertain.  I feel as if I have nothing solid under my feet."
Now, I am not a person who hears God audibly speak to me and hearing God's voice has been a difficulty and struggle for me for as long as I have been a Christian.  But He answered that thought.
He said, "Emily. I am your solid ground."

It doesn't matter what comes tomorrow.  What matters is right now - and right now, God has me in the palm of His hand and He's not letting go. He has a plan for my life.  He isn't changing.  I may be moving out of Grove City and not coming back, but my God is certain.  He is the same here in my hometown as He is out at Grove City.

I am excited for this next step in my journey, thrilled to be on a new page, and I am confident that my God is with me.  

I'm not a fan of "The Message" (a translation of the Bible), but I got a journal for graduation that has Exodus 33:14 written on the cover in the translation of the Message. It reads this way: 

"My presence will go with you. I'll see the journey to the end."  

The verse translated in the English Standard Version reads this way:

"My presence will go with you and I will give you rest."

God will see me through this journey and when I reach Heaven's gates, I will rest in His presence throughout all eternity.  But for now, as Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, there are good works prepared in advance for me to do - here in my hometown. And God will be my solid ground throughout this journey. 


"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  Phil. 3:14.

For My Mom

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. 

And it is making me think.  I have realized over the past couple of years that I have a passion and excitement to be a wife and a mother.  I long to see God teach, train, sanctify and use me through those roles to glorify Him and point others to Christ.

But as I contemplate this, I wonder if a part of my desire to do this comes because of the mother that I have had.  I have been overly blessed with a mother who serves both her husband and children faithfully over the past 28 years or so.  I know that I don't fully understand the amount of sacrifice, time, effort and love that my mother has poured into this role and "lifetime" job.  But as I grow older, I have begun to see a little more of the 'behind-the-scenes' of being a mom.  I have begun to appreciate more and more the many things she has done and continues to do not just for me, but for my three siblings and my father.

I found this poem and thought it rather accurate in describing my relationship with my mother:

"When you're a child she walks before you,

To set an example. 

When you're a teenager she walks behind you

To be there should you need her. 

When you're an adult she walks beside you

So that as two friends you can enjoy life together."

[Author Unknown]

Thanks, Mom.  For walking beside me these days, and encouraging me, and being a friend.  Your advice and wisdom mean so much to me.  Thank you for making me laugh and for teasing me.  I love you.

Unchanging One

I've returned...again.

Here's what's on my mind (and has been for some time):

I struggled this semester with worry.  I don't normally consider myself a big worrier, but this semester, I found myself anxious quite a bit.  It was disconcerting and most certainly not a good way to live.  Worry could turn a typical day into a day filled with frustration and tears.  Small things suddenly looked so much bigger.  Tiny problems were insurmountable.  I worried about getting my work done. I worried I wasn't learning enough.  I worried that the pain in my elbows would return. I worried about what would (and will) happen after graduation.  I worried about the future. A lot.

This is a simple thing, but here's the conclusion I reached: worrying doesn't fix anything.

I worry because I feel like I can somehow affect the outcome of the situation. 

But I can't worry my way into a good day.

I finally decided to do something about this.  I realized that part of the problem was my lack of faith.  I was living in opposition to what I often tell myself - that God is sovereign.  I was living as if God wasn't in control and didn't know what was going on.

So I began to study God's faithfulness. 

Faithful. 

Dictionary.com's definition:

faith·ful

 [feyth-fuhl] 

adjective

1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty:             a faithful worker.

2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant:          faithful friends.

4. reliable, trusted, or believed.

5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original;       accurate:

God never changes.  He is constant and true. 

"He is a spirit, infinite and eternal and unchanging in being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness and truth." [JI Packer, Knowing God]  

I think I like to tell myself that God has to 'prove' Himself trustworthy and then I will trust him.  If he is faithful in this circumstance, then I will trust him.  What faulty logic! I have the entire Old AND New Testament to see not only God's faithfulness to his people but his patience with them in their sin, his grace to them and the abounding love that he pours out on them.

I can rest secure in today, knowing that God is faithful.  He has been faithful in the past and he is unchanging - he will remain faithful in the future. 

God will not carry me through to graduation, just to leave me once I cross that stage.

"Sorry. This is as far as I go. Good luck!"

He will finish what he has begun in me, as Philippians 1 promises me.  I can be confident that my God is greater and stronger and that He will remain my protector, provider and Savior.

I continue to study God's faithfulness, if only to remind this forgetful mind of mine that God truly is unchanging and I can face today, and tomorrow, boldly, without worry. 

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. 

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 

It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

[Psalm 127:1-2]