Unchanging One

I've returned...again.

Here's what's on my mind (and has been for some time):

I struggled this semester with worry.  I don't normally consider myself a big worrier, but this semester, I found myself anxious quite a bit.  It was disconcerting and most certainly not a good way to live.  Worry could turn a typical day into a day filled with frustration and tears.  Small things suddenly looked so much bigger.  Tiny problems were insurmountable.  I worried about getting my work done. I worried I wasn't learning enough.  I worried that the pain in my elbows would return. I worried about what would (and will) happen after graduation.  I worried about the future. A lot.

This is a simple thing, but here's the conclusion I reached: worrying doesn't fix anything.

I worry because I feel like I can somehow affect the outcome of the situation. 

But I can't worry my way into a good day.

I finally decided to do something about this.  I realized that part of the problem was my lack of faith.  I was living in opposition to what I often tell myself - that God is sovereign.  I was living as if God wasn't in control and didn't know what was going on.

So I began to study God's faithfulness. 

Faithful. 

Dictionary.com's definition:

faith·ful

 [feyth-fuhl] 

adjective

1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty:             a faithful worker.

2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant:          faithful friends.

4. reliable, trusted, or believed.

5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original;       accurate:

God never changes.  He is constant and true. 

"He is a spirit, infinite and eternal and unchanging in being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness and truth." [JI Packer, Knowing God]  

I think I like to tell myself that God has to 'prove' Himself trustworthy and then I will trust him.  If he is faithful in this circumstance, then I will trust him.  What faulty logic! I have the entire Old AND New Testament to see not only God's faithfulness to his people but his patience with them in their sin, his grace to them and the abounding love that he pours out on them.

I can rest secure in today, knowing that God is faithful.  He has been faithful in the past and he is unchanging - he will remain faithful in the future. 

God will not carry me through to graduation, just to leave me once I cross that stage.

"Sorry. This is as far as I go. Good luck!"

He will finish what he has begun in me, as Philippians 1 promises me.  I can be confident that my God is greater and stronger and that He will remain my protector, provider and Savior.

I continue to study God's faithfulness, if only to remind this forgetful mind of mine that God truly is unchanging and I can face today, and tomorrow, boldly, without worry. 

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. 

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 

It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

[Psalm 127:1-2]