My Plans

It's funny to look back and see how I used to plan out my future - week to week, month to month, even years ahead.  I have journaled since I was 15 and rereading those journals is both scary and encouraging - scary to see how crazy I was...and encouraging to see what God has done with that crazy 15-year-old.
And there are definitely humorous parts as I read things I was certain I would do with my life. How I wanted to be an author...and a missionary to China...and a teacher...and there was a point in my life where I was most certainly going to be an actress.
My oh my. How God has changed those plans!!
Yet here, at 22, I still find myself planning my life and expecting God to follow me instead of me following Him.  I read somewhere (I can't currently remember where) that we often invite God to be a part of every plan for our life...instead of seeking to be a part of His plan for our life.
I read in James 4 this morning these verses:
"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit' - yet you do now know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that'." [James 4:13-15]
I have read these verses before and the end result is that I stick "If the Lord wills" in front of my planning and then I continue on...but am I really seeking the Lord's will?  Do I desire to follow His plan?  "If the Lord wills"...reminds me of Proverbs 16:9, "The heart of a man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps."
God has determined a course for my life and I should be actively seeking it.  I should be seeking to bring Him glory through my day-to-day life - that His will would be done through my words and my plans and my actions.
One of the words that hit me in that passage from James was the word "live".  It says, "If the Lord wills, we will live..."  There it is. Without God, without Him continuing to give me breath - I will not even live another day. How then, can I plan out my future without realizing that it is God who will direct my steps?  That God is the one who has given me gifts, passions, desires, circumstances and counsel to lead and move me?

Oh, that we would live, listening to the Spirit's voice, seeking the face of God, and moving in response to His guidance. I know that God has led me to where I am today - even through many directional 'missteps' of mine. It is His hand that is over my tomorrow. I pray that He continues to teach me to hear his voice, that I might respond as Samuel, and Isaiah. "Here I am, Lord. Send me." That I would remember that it is the Lord who wills me to live and that it is His mercy that leads me through each day.