The Other Side of the Coin

Break is coming.  It is almost here. And with it comes my last time being at home until I graduate from college.

Weird.

I have had senioritis for quite some time, although my workload has (thankfully) kept me from doing anything about it (ie...being lazy).  I am ready to graduate, to move on to a new step, to be done with tests, and flashcards and finals and dorm rooms and cafeteria food.  But mostly cafeteria food.

This past Friday, however, I played in my last orchestra concert and a new feeling suddenly hit me. I realized that this could be the last time I play in an orchestra.  I mean, if I really wanted to, I could probably find an orchestra to play in once I graduate, but it won't be the same as having the college orchestra right at my fingertips (no pun intended). 

And that's when the other side of being a senior hit me...the moving on side...the side that realizes that there are things that college offers that I won't have again. 

Don't get me wrong.

I'm still ready to graduate.

But I suddenly realized that there are two sides to this coin...like every coin…it just took me a bit to realize it for this one.  Or at least, for the knowledge of this other side to begin to sink in.

I think it comes down to balance.  Again. I know I just recently talked about balance, but it keeps coming up.  There is a balance between saying hello and saying goodbye.  Between rejoicing in the past and moving forward without looking back. 

And the center of this balance rests in Christ.  In trusting Him.   My future is still uncertain (in my mind).  I don't have a set job, I don't have a car, I don't know what the next year will hold for me.  But I know that Christ will be my Rock.  He has a plan, has determined my future, knows what is best for me and will not let me go.  He has faithfully brought me through (almost) four of college, teaching me, showing me grace and growing me.  And He will continue to be with me.

As the Elevation Band sings, "Give me faith, to trust what You say.  That You're good and Your love is great."

Moving forward can be hard, but I don't want to move back. There are "good works set out in advance for me to do" (Ephesians 2:10).  Our life is not supposed to be stagnant.  We're supposed to be growing, moving, changing. 

I pray that God will give me the dedication to finish well here, the faith to move on with contentment and the joy to live each day fully to His glory.